Break me
by Heir Guardian
Summary: A different look into the life of Madison. Dedicated to my lil' Bro (AKA BRAT) Rating for blood and suicide attempts
1. Break me

BREAK ME…..  
  
Disclaimer: They don't belong to me, never will, so don't try anything. ….(I hate this stuff)  
  
Warnings: This is NOT a happy fic in the beginning. It will get better. I promise.  
  
Dedication: For my little brother who is actually named Li.  
  
  
  
Chapter 1.  
  
She sat there, watching the screen over and over again. Every now and then she would hit the rewind button, to that one part…  
  
….that one single part…………  
  
……..the part that tore her in two….  
  
The part that broke her heart.  
  
Silent tears came down here face, pooling at her chin before falling to the floor, unnoticed by all. Blue eyes screamed her agony, if only anyone could look behind the mask.  
  
But they didn't….they just wanted to see the happy little girl with the camera.  
  
Rewind  
  
That part yet again.  
  
It is just a simple little scene.  
  
Sakura lands on the ground..  
  
Cut…..  
  
Li runs up to her.  
  
Cut…  
  
They hug, spin quickly and fall down.  
  
Cut…  
  
Together.  
  
Cut….!  
  
They smile.  
  
CUT!!  
  
Then his eyes light up and a blush spreads across the screen as she captures his face.  
  
CUT!!!!!  
  
Rewind….  
  
SMASH!!  
  
The screen breaks as her fist connects with it. She slumps to the ground, shards of glass falling all around her. She brings her hand back to her and watches the blood from her wrist pool on the floor. She digs her fingers into the wrist, opening it wider, the blood flows now. Drenching her and everything she knows in its dark embrace.  
  
She feels like she's drowning, in a way she is…..  
  
….brother……  
  
If he had been here, he would have known what to do. But he wasn't…  
  
BROTHER!!! NO! PLEASE WAKE UP! PLEASE!! Wake up………….  
  
That was the past, that was the day she started living other people's lives, through her camera. She had been content..  
  
Until he showed up. The brown eyes that brought her back to reality, left her shaking inside. She continued to stay by Sakura, as she captured the cards, hoping to see some more of him. And she did. But he never turned her way unless Sakura did first.  
  
Sakura…  
  
She couldn't really blame her, after all it had been her life that she had been living for the past few years.  
  
Sakura was innocent..  
  
So was Li….  
  
But that doesn't make the hurt go away.  
  
It only slows it down.  
  
She hears something move by her window.  
  
Wings….?  
  
Holding her bleeding wrist in front of her she steps to the window, pushing aside the curtain and revealing ice ….  
  
Yue….  
  
Wordlessly he grabs her damaged wrist and places his lips to the wound. She gasps as the wound closes and his face is marred with a drop of dark red..  
  
Blood…  
  
Her blood…  
  
"Why do you hurt, yourself? Why don't you confront him?" His soft voice breaks through the haze in her mind. She looks up at him and then over to the smashed screen. The scene still flashes through her mind.  
  
"Did you watch beyond that point?" he asks, she stares at him, not understanding. He turns to leave…  
  
"He was staring at you Madison…not Sakura." 


	2. Shake me

SHAKE ME  
  
Chapter 2.  
  
Madison went to school the next day, just as she always did. The wound was gone thanks to Yue. Her mother had believed the story that something had flown through the window and shattered the T.V. It was a good thing that by now she knew how to clean out the blood from the carpet.  
  
Blood…..  
  
She shook her head. No better not to think about it. Better to forget it ran through the vein there, right under her wrist. Best to forget that on deep slash could end all the lies.  
  
End it all…..  
  
No! She shook her head and walked into the class room, and stopped.  
  
Li and Sakura had their heads together and were whispering intimately.  
  
Stop….  
  
They moved a fraction closer.  
  
Stop….  
  
She smiled, he looked into her eyes….  
  
STOP!!!  
  
Li turned towards her and she realized that she had dropped her bag. She hurriedly picked it up and walked over to her seat. She felt a blush rise up to her cheeks and firmly told it to go away and plastered on her smile. It almost faltered.  
  
Li was staring at her, and he looked, concerned…..?  
  
About her……………  
  
Then Sakura was talking to them both.  
  
"Hey! It's a beautiful day and I thought we could all go down to the beach today. My dad said it would be fine.!" She looked so hopeful that Madison agreed, like she always did. Li also agreed, after a bit of coaxing. They arranged to meet there at three and then class started.  
  
Three o'clock came around a lot sooner than she expected and they were there at the beach. The three of them, and of course, Madison had her camera. She watched them live through the lens. Watched them laugh and play and talk and swim and….  
  
She couldn't take any more……………  
  
She dropped the camera and stared, eyes seeing the beauty all around her….but never once taking it in. What had happened to her. What had changed today, then a hand on her shoulder turned her around and she knew. As she stared in those brown eyes that held concern for her and her alone she knew….  
  
He cared…………..  
  
About her…………..  
  
But……  
  
Why……………..?  
  
WHY NOW???  
  
"Madison. Are you okay?" He stepped closer. No she couldn't take this. He loved Sakura. Not her!  
  
Right……………..?  
  
"Madison?" She stared at him and her eyes held everything, and he knew. He knew what she felt. She felt the tears come as he just stood there. Frozen.  
  
Waves………..  
  
She opened her eyes and looked down. She was standing on a cliff, had been to get better shots.  
  
Down………………….  
  
She knew what she had to do. She didn't know how to swim, so this would be perfect.  
  
The end………………of her pain  
  
She jumped.  
  
Felt the impact her body made in the water and let go. As the darkness overcame her she heard one last thing…  
  
"WATERY CARD!" 


	3. Hate Me

HATE ME…………………  
  
  
  
The darkness surrounded her…  
  
Entered her………  
  
Eased the pain…………  
  
So why wasn't she happy?  
  
This is what she had wanted for so long. This peace. So why did she feel horrible inside.  
  
"You aren't yourself, sis." She turned, startled at the voice. Shock froze her for a moment.  
  
"Brother?" The boy nodded. Blue eyes, so much like her own, black hair, smooth and around his face, tall, pale, her brother.  
  
"Why did you leave me?!" she was hurt. He had no right to interfere with the peace she had finally found. He sighed and stared off into the distance.  
  
"Do you really think I left you by choice?" The words were whispered; he still wasn't looking at her.  
  
"You still left!" She screamed.  
  
"So did you."  
  
"I…" Those words stopped her. It was true she had left, she had taken the easy way out she had taken,  
  
"Death…" He shook his head.  
  
"Before that."  
  
No…….  
  
"What was her name, Lyss?"  
  
Please……  
  
"And before her was Riki."  
  
Stop…….  
  
"Hita…"  
  
Cut…….  
  
"Matina…"  
  
Cut………  
  
"Lastura.."  
  
"CUT! CUT!" she had finally screamed it. He looked at her. His eyes sad and worried.  
  
"And now Sakura." He reached out to her and took her hands.  
  
"But before all them, there was you. My sister. A beautiful, bright, loving, little girl. But she left, hid behind a camera. Couldn't face the facts…."  
  
Stop………..  
  
"Couldn't understand…"  
  
Cut……..  
  
"Didn't know how to cope with…"  
  
Finish……..  
  
Rewind……  
  
"….the lose of her brother." She was shaking and he held her close.  
  
"It didn't end that day."  
  
"For me it did.." she whispered. "I couldn't bear to be myself. To have to live with that knowledge."  
  
"So you took on the life of another. Filming their actions and through it living what you felt was a normal life." She could only whimper.  
  
"Hate me…" she finally said. He shook his head.  
  
"I couldn't do that." He held her closer. "You are my sister. You are Madison!"  
  
Can it be true……..  
  
"Madison look at me!" She looked at him.  
  
"Li does care for you. Always has, but he has become confused. When he looked at you he saw Sakura. But physically he still saw you. He also saw who you were actually, on rare occasions."  
  
"When?"  
  
"The song card. He heard your voice. The one that spoke of your life.."  
  
'Tonight I sing alone….'  
  
"Of your hopes….."  
  
'But tomorrow I'll sing with you…'  
  
Of your heart……  
  
'On the wings of a dream'  
  
She stood there surrounded by her brother's loving arms.  
  
"They'll hate me now."  
  
"Stop saying that!"  
  
"But it's true." He shook her, hard.  
  
"It is not. They love you. Just as I do." He stared at her, "Look through your camera now and see someone else's life. Once you do that…"  
  
"I'll be able to find my own…." He smiled and nodded.  
  
"Time to go back." She looked up at him and smiled. A true smile.  
  
"I'll miss you."  
  
"I'll be right beside you." She stepped away from him and let the water surround her once more. Only this time…  
  
…I'm not going to die….  
  
Watery surrounded her and lifted her out of the dark embrace she had fallen into and set her down in her friend's care. She looked into two worried faces and smiled, a bit shaky.  
  
"I need to go home, before I can talk to you." They nodded and Li lifted her up, as Sakura packed up their stuff. She turned back once to look at the cliff….  
  
…and saw her broken camera, shattered in the sunlight.  
  
Somehow, she knew things were going to be alright. Now it was time to sort things through. Time to find Madison. 


	4. Take Me Over

TAKE ME OVER…..  
  
She sat there; in front of her new T.V. only this time was different. This time she was just watching, not living. She saw blond hair, dark hair, red hair and finally brown.  
  
She watched it all, long into the night, discovering her life from where she had positioned herself….  
  
….behind the camera.  
  
No more. She smiled. She had let sadness take her over. She paused the tape in a scene where Sakura and Li were fighting together. She stared at it a moment and then turned to the window. On the ledge of the window, once hidden from view was a picture. A blue eyed, black haired boy smiled out of the frame. She bent down to it.  
  
"I let them take me over." She breathed in.  
  
"I let them drown me out." She breathed out.  
  
"I let myself let them." She closed her eyes.  
  
"I lived behind a camera."  
  
…I cut myself open….  
  
"I cared for them because they were who I was."  
  
…I watched myself bleed….  
  
"If they were hurt, I was hurt."  
  
…I jumped out the window….  
  
"If they were sad, I was sad."  
  
…hoping this was the end…  
  
"If they were happy, I smiled."  
  
…I hurt myself…  
  
"But I didn't know what I was smiling about."  
  
…I hurt others…  
  
"It was there life."  
  
…blood…  
  
"Not mine."  
  
…pain…  
  
"It could never be mine."  
  
…breaking bones, torn veins, starved body, cold water…  
  
"But I let myself think it was."  
  
…brown eyes looking in concern, so much like blue ones long gone…  
  
"No longer."  
  
…green eyes, staring back at me, happy when I was happy, smiling just for me…  
  
"She knew. She knew but never told me."  
  
…putting up with what I made her do, made her wear, made her pose…  
  
"Why"  
  
"Because that's what friends are for." Startled Madison turned around. Sakura was there, looking at the screen. She grabbed the remote and pressed fastforward. She waited and then paused it at a scene where Li was looking directly at the camera. Then she turned to look at her friend.  
  
"Who is he looking at Madison?" She couldn't answer, could only stare.  
  
"I knew you were behind the camera. I also knew that you didn't want to be there." She looked directly into Madison's eyes.  
  
"I knew you were in there somewhere. Someone had to make those costumes. Someone had to hold us together." She stepped forward.  
  
"Now that someone has a name." She smiled. "Madison."  
  
Madison could only stare and then flung herself at her friend crying into Sakura's shoulder.  
  
"Keep the movies." Madison looked at her in shock.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Keep them."  
  
"Why?" Sakura smiled.  
  
"So then you will be reminded that no one can ever take you over again." They both turned to the screen and Madison smiled as she finally noticed the little smile on Li's face, directed at her.  
  
"I'll have to figure out what I truly feel for him." Sakura held her.  
  
"You know what, Madison." She turned to her friend, her wide-eyed innocent expression on her face. She looked so cute that Madison couldn't help but smile.  
  
"What Sakura?"  
  
"This reminds me of a song I heard once from my brother. He had been in a bad mood and had played it. I think it was by Savage Garden? Yep it was!"  
  
"What about it?"  
  
"The chorus."  
  
"Tell me it."  
  
"Okay but I am not singing it."  
  
'Break me, shake me, hate me,  
  
Take me over,  
  
And when the madness stops,  
  
You'll be alone..'  
  
Sakura looked thoughtful for a moment.  
  
"I'd only change the last line." Madison looked at her.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because the madness has stopped, but you are not alone and never will be." Madison smiled and hugged her again. Stepping back she then drew her friend over to the window and grabbed the picture. She smiled at it a moment and then handed it to Sakura.  
  
"This is my brother." Sakura's head whipped up.  
  
"I never knew." Madison smiled.  
  
"He died. But he is still around, and I know that we will always be together."  
  
"Could you tell me about him?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
"He's my guardian Angel."  
  
-Thank you to my brother Lee. You helped me through the hardest times of my life and while at times I may hate you, I will always love you.- 


End file.
